Many people agonize over the decision of exactly what to say in a text message exchange with someone we previously we in a relationship with. If you sound too keen, will they run a mile? If you appear disinterested, will they lose interest? It can be a tricky balance to get right. And then there’s the whole added worry of the misunderstanding of text messaging.
This is our quick (and therefore not exhaustive) guide to sending the right kind of messages to text your ex back into trusting you and getting things on track.
‘Appy with you
There is such a wide range of apps and instant messengers out there (WhatsApp!); meaning the cell phone has practically revolutionized dating. Thankfully, many of these will help to build a better relationship of trust back with you ex; harnessing the power of the text message’s diversity and subtlety. At the very beginning stages of being back in touch with an ex: it’s important to stick to the rule of texting, so as not to spoil the phone game!
Ok, so before you read your way into becoming a text genius, there is one little thing you can do to be sure that the process runs as smoothly as possible. And this is our old friend honesty. But for heavens’ sake, we don’t mean professing your undying love for your ex. We mean honesty with yourself. There must be a reason why things didn’t work out.
Think this through, and it will actually give you a great advantage over getting it right this time ‘round. For example, if you seemed distant and inattentive before, this time you need to demonstrate patience and being a listener.
However, if you were accused of seeming too overbearing, then this time you need to be a little less forthright; more subtle and again patient.
Unlike a phone call, we can send a sneaky text when we, or they are at work; meaning you can get your ex thinking about you whenever you like through the day. As humans, we tend to seek emotional experiences. It’s how we develop attachments. So with a little strategy behind your messaging, you should have your ex back into communication with you easily.
One of the greatest ways of doing this is to send a text in the morning, just letting them know you are thinking of them. Here, it’s essential to be friendly, without being overly flirty. But it just lets them know you’re thinking of them. A simple joke about the weather and how to make sure they pack an umbrella or sunglasses or whatever seems appropriate is light-hearted and also sows the seed of caring about how their day goes.
This can be the hardest part because even if you really want to, and even if they respond immediately, YOU MUST WAIT. Just a little while. Leave it at least an hour before you respond again. This gives them time to think about you. To miss the sweet side of you that cares about their day and in the absence of contact, it creates more desire.
Getting women to attach emotions to their text messaging conversation with you will give you a massive advantage over any other guy. The guide and associated bonus books will show you how to make the women you message to feel safe, special and attractive. After that, they will be putty in your hands: people may not always remember what you say, but they will remember how you made them feel.
Time and pace
The key thing about using messaging to connect with an ex is that the conversation does not have to be spontaneous. Right now, this is great news, because rather like chess, you can actually be strategic. You have time to compose messages engineered to draw out emotions, as opposed to blurting out something, you later regret!
After sending a subtle reminder that you care, you will spark emotions. You then need to escalate each text by reading signals from the response you get. So if they are is light-hearted in their response: up the banter.
If they are cold, you will need to build on a few more caring texts before escalating the flirtiness.
Ultimately, you need to develop patience and listening in order to use the tools of text to get your ex back in your life.
Remember to avoid these mistakes.